Ok, new game plan. My Southern Texas route has been washed away by a hurricane. I’ll go north to Oklahoma onto Arkansas, hit Memphis, head down to New Orleans, follow the coast down to the Keys, head north to Savannah, then Nashville on my way back to Chicago. I have about a month to play before my nephew is born. I’ll see Chickasaw National Recreation Area, then dig for diamonds, do a trolley ride in Memphis, donuts at Cafe Du Monde, sleep on the beach, visit friends, and… My mind filled with everything I want to do before the road trip comes to an end. By time I hit Oklahoma, my mind was mush and it was late afternoon. I find a campground on the outskirts of Chickasaw. I set up my camp in an empty wide open field. I do the usual write, play guitar and eat. I’ll miss this the most. My old life doesn’t seem to have time to be this free and creative. But, I don’t want to think about that right now. Tonight I sleep under the stars. Tomorrow I explore!

“I think I’m having a midlife crisis,” my friend exclaims as she’s about to turn 40. An article on FB pops up on my feed about how my generations 40’s is causing anxiety. Anxiety of not achieving what we set out and now too old in a millenial generation. A barrage of beauty products, nip and tucks, injections tell me aging gracefully happens in a surgeon’s office. Be a cougar and hold onto youth. Friend after friend having breast cancer or thyroid issues or take some sort of antidepressant. You’ve blinked and now you’re 40, over the hill. It’s the downside of life and a midlife crisis is needed to fight that desire to succumb to death. Maybe this road trip is my midlife crisis. Problem is I feel my midlife crisis has been happening since I was 18 wanting more than college, a career and a picket fence. It’s clear my road trip is coming to an end. I’m holding tighter to it, not wanting to lose who I’ve become. As I head back onto the road, my emotions are mixed. Excited to get back to my sanity. Numb because my road trip time is almost up. The death is coming sooner than I’d like. So, Austin hill country is where I start exploring again. Reclaim my wild woman. Be in the moment of my midlife crisis before it’s over.